“The Dog Walker Saw It”

It’s about 7 miles cross country to the closest viable pub. So I don’t go there very often.

There was football on. A group of lads stood 2 deep at the bar, making micro adjustments so they could maintain vision of the TV on the far wall.

A bulky couple sat on bar stools, not watching the football. Her top was tight, dark in colour. It didn’t quite reach the waistband of her blue jeans. She had her back to me. I wondered whether she could feel the draught when the door opened. Maybe not. He wore a plasticky looking fleece, the zip only went down to his sternum. His head was square, his torso oblong. He reminded me of a child’s pencil drawing of a man. A favourite uncle perhaps. They were nice people, kind faces, she reached a friendly hand towards my dog. He wasn’t feeling very confident, or maybe that was me projecting. He ignored the hand and pressed his hip a little closer to my calf, his tail not only down but folded neatly underneath his belly. He much preferred the journey to the destination.

I felt a bit the same so I ordered a pint of Wainwright and made my way outside. It was dark and about +1 degree but still preferable.

I split up the remaining treats and put small pieces on my knees and the surrounding benches whilst William licked his lips. “Go on then”, he hoovered them up in adoration.

The lady from the bar stool walked over. She had a cigarette in her hand as she came out of the door. She watched me and my dog for a few minutes then asked me about him. He didn’t much care for the conversation, his spine arched a little, I could tell he was feeling the cold. I tilted my torso back a bit and made my thighs into a lap so he could climb up and then wrapped my arms around him as we spoke. He felt lovely.

The conversation started to falter and I turned away. A thudding sound made me jump, the poor woman had missed the bench with her backside and was laying on the floor. I stood up to help, she was up instantly, face flushed. We were both embarrassed, she said she was ok. We laughed nervously, she finished her cigarette and went back in.

It was her partner’s turn for a fag. They must have been taking it in turns so they could keep control of the barstools.

He was the more extroverted of the pair. He immediately commented on the falling over that had just occurred, he said “the dog walker saw it”, reporting it back to “him” in the third person.

He told me about his dogs. Over ten of them. He’d always had dogs. As a child, his Dalmatian once found a whole bag of pound coins. And ate them. He said he had to follow it around the yard with a hosepipe the next day, washing the shite off of them. He gathered them all up. His grandad didn’t want them back after what had happened, so he spent them in the sweet shop.

My lift arrived, and I left the remaining questions behind.